Guys, it’s time to put down the Axe (deodorant)

Every year, without fail, teenage boys grow closer to adulthood. And every year, without fail, these teenage boys turn to the same deodorant–Axe Body Spray.

Cans of the spray litter every well-known teen hangout, choking all who get caught in it with the thick stench of disappointed mothers and unwashed armpits, used almost exclusively by boys who don’t understand the concept of “a little goes a long way.” If you entered any kind of high school gym, there was no escape from Axe and its users. 

It’s usually the same kids, too- the wannabe gangster boys, spitting slurs every other sentence. They view themselves as tough, as the metaphorical “bad boys” of their friend group. That raises a very interesting question, though- If YOU’RE the bad boy, and HE’S the bad boy, and HE’S the bad boy, then who’s the BADDEST boy? 

Here’s your answer; It doesn’t matter. No matter how interesting those kinds of teenagers think they are, ultimately, they fade into individual obscurity, instead, becoming an archetype- It doesn’t matter how vaguely or specifically I describe the typical Axe user, one can probably still think of several persons to fill the description. 

Here, try to see how many kids you know: Rude, vulgar, insensitive, stinking of misogyny and too much cologne. Calling women by rude words and then blaming the girls for responding in an unexpected way. Using excuses and straight-up lying to get what they want. 

How many kids do you know can fit that?

Now, can we blame all of this on a singular brand of deodorant? Of course, we can! It would make a hilarious opinion piece in a student newspaper, don’t you think? I can see the headline now; “Guys, it’s time to put down the Axe (Deodorant).” 

But that doesn’t mean we should. 

I can point fingers all day at Axe. I can claim that kids are only so mean because of the brands they choose. I can act like a bitter baby boomer, writing articles about how all teenagers are addicted to screens and why that’s Bad. I can completely ignore the individuals to make fun of the mass collective. I can keep adding sentences to this paragraph to act like it’s important. That doesn’t change a thing. Well, it changes the word count. That’s about all, though.

When someone gets mad at a group or a collective, they can’t see the members of the collective. They get lost in the sea of faces and voices and forget all of them.

When you look at a crowd, it’s easy to get intimidated.

But a crowd is only as strong as its size… Or smell.